This piece came through today as I wrote my morning pages. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety about the coronavirus and through a powerful conversation last night with two friends, I finally got clear about what exactly is bothering me. It is the thought of death - death of many aspects of life as we have known it, my own physical death and the death of people I love.
As often happens, guidance came through my hand to be recorded on the page. These sacred exchanges are such a gift! I've shared the guidance in italics, so it is easier to understand the flow of this conversation.
Before I can revel in the moment, I must acknowledge my grief in saying goodbye to the past. Letting go of the structures I had counted on, love, depended on, is hard! Even though they clearly didn't work anymore...still I loved them.
We are waking up to the reality that we were all sleepwalking. The question is, do we want to continue, or are we ready to awaken to the possibility in front of us? The virus has brought us to our knees. And to our knees is where we are. Perhaps a necessary condition in order to be the change.
It is one thing to say it, quite another to actually be it, live it, do it. You are afraid, yes, and it is normal to feel that way as you step into this invitation.
So turn towards your fears and really look at them.
You are afraid of death.
You don't like death.
You don't want to die, to cause grief and loss and sadness for those who love you. You don't want to feel the loss, the sadness, the grief of losing those whom you love. This is normal. This tender heart is what makes you human.
And, there can be no life without death.
No living without losing.
Life, loss, they walk hand in hand like summer lovers on a cool evening by the beach. Life, joy, another sacred pairing.
If I could show you the peace of death, you would perhaps not fear it so. But it is the great mystery that cannot be shown, cannot be previewed with any certainty. The closest you will come is to sit with another at the moment of their transition between worlds. There is a moment of crossing over, if you can remain present to that, setting aside the desperation of the situation you may catch it. A sacred moment of surrender, relinquishing any grasping, breath softening, face clearing of all tension.
In yoga you practice for this sacred moment by taking Savasana, "Corpse Pose". That is the closest thing this human can point to as an experience akin to death. It may be useful to you to give it a try.
To practice for your death; practice dying. I know it activates the deepest grief...I know...and yet if we can cultivate acceptance of this reality, then anything is possible. Everything is possible.